Friday 26th February 2010, Roquetas and things are changing!

Thursday was spent with a little run down the coast on our cycles into a riveting wind, we made to the “Spinnaker” for a coffee but it was low gear all the way. Coming back was a breeze, ha!

The rest of the day was spent reading and lying in the sun, heaven.

Things are changing around here thoughbut.

Well for one thing the Germans are stepping it up somewhat. There is now a 7pm curfew and if we intend to enter either reception or the bar we are asked for our “papers”, the car's V5 or E111 at the very least. During the last two nights they have erected towers at the corners of the camp site and the guys in them have the biggest MagLights I have seen! They are patrolling the perimeter with their dogs most nights up until day break, although those little dachshunds don't look that intimidating.

We had a “friendly” game of football the other day, Germany XI vs ROW XI, nothing changes does it? It was nip and tuck at two all until the final minute when one of our guys, I think it was either F.O. Hurst or F.O. Peters, hit a tremendous shot against the bar which we all thought had rebounded across the line and a big argument ensued. Luckily the linesman was Russian, who had some previous problems with the Germans, and he gave the goal.

One of our chaps, Roger Bartlett, from hut, sorry motorhome # 31, says we must organise ourselves before the situation gets out of hand. He said we need various types of people as soon as possible.

A “scrounger”, who could get things we would need to survive on the outside, a “tailor” who could turn our shorts, T shirts and crocs into garments more suitable for travelling, a “forger”, obviously, for those not possessing an international driving license, and at least two “tunnel kings” to start as soon as possible on “Tom”, “Dick” and “Harry”. Danny Velinski ( a Pole) and William "Willie" Dickes were to be the tunnel kings, Danny particularly, I'm sure, had a deathwish.

The French had already gone ahead with their “Jean Paul” but unfortunately they used our plans and, mixing yards for metres, came up 12 metres short in the tennis court and have never been seen since. Their sun loungers are now covered with towels, all the wheels are missing from their motorhomes and their wastehogs are gone.

The scrounger turned out to be a tall black American guy who called himself “Red” and said he could get anything within reason. Colin Blythe, the tailor, asked if he could get him Rita Hayworth and he said he could and even throw in a rock hammer for free. Somehow I thought “Red” didn't, quite fit in around here.

The folowing pictures are 1.  A typical German satelite dish, it's very acurate!  2. A fast attack german caravan.  3.  Standard German campsite layout, not one out of place.  4.  Rather large German Motorhome with an oversize filling hose.

The plan was to start”Tom” under my BBQ and distribute the dug out soil via bags hidden in our track suit bottoms all around the compound, sorry, camp site. Unfortunately F.O. Sedgwick, a defrocked ex scoutmaster from Basildon, went out in his shorts, silly bugger, and was soon spotted.

Big “X”, as Roger prefers to be called, made a break one night to reconnoitre the nearest railway station and bring back any information on the outlying grounds. He was caught on the way back and was put in the cooler, toilet block #6. It was OK, he opined 2 days later, but the guy in trap # 8, next door, kept on banging a ball against the wall and catching it, it nearly drove him crazy, he said.

Two Americans in Winnebago's turned up yesterday, bloody late as usual, but at least now the Americans are here how can we lose? The Russians however have started to build a large rockery that basically cuts off the east part of the camp site from the west, I am beginning to wonder where this is going to end?

The other day we were told that our weekly Spanish lessons were being changed to “Euro – English” lessons. The following note appeared out side of toilet block #3:-

“The Roquetas Democratic Socialist Party has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the Camp site rather than German, which was originally put forward as the main language.

As part of the negotiations, the non Ayrian Campers conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English' .

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible..

Campers will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a real sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.



ZE DREM OF A UNITD SPAIN VIL FINALI KUM TRU! UNT AL ANDALUSIA VIL B OURS!



Must sign off for now, lights are off and generators are verboten.