Sunday 25th April 2010, we have been and come back.

No blog for a while because of the secret trip back to the UK for Alan Swan's “surprise” 60th birthday party. It had been planned since Christmas 2009 and was to take place in The Swan pub on Saturday 17th April in our village of Forest Row. We were originally going to fly but we were taking a lot of things back, including Alan's present from us. A Spanish BBQ Paella set. And we also had a lot of things to bring back to Roquetas, printer, door lock etc. So it was to be a 1.300 mile drive with the return, as it turned out, a little longer, depending how lost we got on the way.



Leaving very early on Monday morning as SWMBO had very IMPORTANT hair and dental appointments on the Thursday so that sorted that out, a three day trip, 2 x 500 miles and then 300 miles, guess who's going to be doing all the driving. “Well someone has to take the pictures!”

I'm not going to go through the whole thing like some blogs do. “Went A23, then N22, then 2 miles south on the A15, then a long twisty road...........etc”. Very, very, boring. I have all the routes we have traveled in the last two years safely stored on my backup drive should they be needed again.



Plan was to head for Zaragoza, booked into Zaragoza central hotel that night, then on to Tours in France and stay at the Quick Palace hotel there, then on to Dieppe for the ferry to Newhaven, arriving about 10 o'clock on Wednesday night. We used a route that we had returned from with the MS but were going to be traveling a lot faster and take in more of the countryside as we were not planning to use any toll roads.

Average mileage when towing is about 18 mpg, solo we were getting 33 mpg so big saving there, although the trip was going to cost about €800, but we were treating it as a short holiday.



Set off and got to reception just in time to remember that we had not turned off the gas, so back and say our goodbyes all over gain. Peter and Jan had already left, Mike and Bernard were leaving a few days after us. Mike, English, had been in on the subterfuge earlier when Alan was visiting and had promised to deliver his BBQ to the Swan Pub when he left for England. As he was going to spend 2 weeks in France and was actually getting the Plymouth ferry that had little chance of ever happening but Alan did not know that and “bought it”.

A7 to Valencia, then N23 to Zaragoza. SWMBO had made a salad for the journey along with fruit and crips, so she was a happy puppy. Up to 70, engage cruise, sit back and relax as the miles flow past.

Got to Zaragoza and one of the problems of city hotels is the lack of parking so ended up partially blocking the narrow street as we offloaded and then finally found the €11/night underground parking and removed the beer and wine for the night.

The Spanish don't eat until late and so most/all the restaurants did not open for business until at least 8:30pm, SWMBO was hungry therefore everyone (me) had to watch their P's and Q's (what the hell does that actually mean?) until she was fed. Ah the wonder of the Internet; “From an old printer's axiom. Back in the early days of printing presses, each line of text had to be set up one letter at a time. Since the letters in the press were reversed (so they'd print forward), the printmaker (or typographer) needed to be careful not to confuse one letter for the other. Reminding someone to "watch his p's and q's" means to pay attention to the details.”



Eventually found an Italian place and had a glorious meal, massive sea food starter, me Pizza, the food of the Gods, SWMBO, fish with bones in, bottle of Chianti and well set.



We had passed Zaragoza many times on the bike tours but never “looked in”. Pretty impressive and Tricia managed to shoot 157 pictures, mostly of the Basilica, I will spare you the majority.





Next morning, gone by 9am and on into France, Diesel immediately up by 20%, coffee by 200%, food by..I guess you get the picture, I don't know how anyone survives there, honestly. Get the passports out, where is the border? we've passed it!



On the border is a small village which is dedicated to the French who obviously pop across the border and fill up with everything that's cheaper in Spain, no surprises there. So it's full of shops and SWMBO has to look into every single one.



A little aside here; SWMBO loves reading war stories, spy stuff and anything about the Special Forces, in fact anything that involves killing people, especially with guns. She reckons if she could have her life all over she would join the SAS. She liked the story in Private Eye about the SAS in Gibraltar in the 70's when they accidentally shot some IRA “suspects”, one was shot seven times. The trouper was asked why he shot the guy seven times, the reply was “I ran out of bullets”.



So I managed to wander off and walked into this shop selling BB guns, basically replicas of real ones but only firing 7mm BB pellets. In the UK they are coloured orange or yellow, here they are black and just look like and feel like, the real thing. At €22 I thought I would get one for her for a joke. “Got you this,Pet”, “Great!, I'll keep it in my bedside drawer”.



Later when we got back she asked me if I could get her some targets. “Them round ones or just some tin cans?” “No, I mean people”. I had noticed when I got the thing that the end was chrome, making it appear toy like, not for long. She bought a small tin of black metal paint, now it's all black and non trivial looking. I've been sleeping on the sofa lately and doing everything she tells me.



Back to the trip.



Arrived in Tours and found the Quick Palace on an outlet mall and next to a very nice (cheap'ish) restaurant and both had steak and chips. We used to (back in the motorcycling days) use Ibis as our main choice of hotels, average price €35-€40/night, now they are €70+ and no difference in quality. Hennti, a Dutch guy from Roquetas had told us about the Quick Palace chain, not so extensive as Ibis but OK, en suite toilet, shower and €32/night!

Now a leisurely roll on down to Dieppe thinking if we arrive 3-4'ish the shops will be shut and SWMBO can't spend anything until the ferry moves out at 6pm. Guess I forgot that this is not Spain anymore, shops don't shut 2pm until 5pm, so I'm dragged round them for 3 hours. Two coffees sitting outside a bar, €8?

SWMBO takes her sea sick tablets and it's on to the boat. Word to the wise, for some reason the people who operate the ferry, Transmarche, use a derisory rate in favour of the €, the rate being between 1.2 and 1.5, so take lots of UK pounds.

As we were on level 5 we were going to be last off and because it was not roll on roll off at Newhaven, half the HGV's had to do a lot of reversing, must remember that when taking the MS back that way. So instead of getting to UK home at about 9'ish, it was 10:30pm.



Next morning was like Christmas, all the things I had ordered on the Internet had arrived and I had a lot of playing to do. Tricia went off to her various appointments but we had to have a plan if we bumped into Alan as he would think something was up seeing us in the UK after just saying goodbye to us a week ago in Spain. The plan was to say that her auntie Joyce had had a heart attack and we had driven home the day previous including all through the night. This was harsh but necessary because he had to believe us otherwise his surprise birthday party would not be a surprise anymore, would it?



It was really great to see everyone, the Kids, (The Kids! They are 29 and 30 now), and their respective partners, Antonia and Olly.

Went round to Heather and Olly's new flat in Copthorne, very impressive. Took them out for a meal and basically catch up. Olly is now a fully certified commercial Pilot basically waiting for a job. As that may take a while he is trying to get a job for the RAC or AA, something he was pretty good at in the past. Heather is top Sales person in BMW UK, as she was also top person in BMW Mini, what's the surprise?



Adam and Antonia are just like a married couple, basically shouting at each other all the time, no that's not true they seem to be getting on great. Although Adam is getting fed up with his job and is looking for another. Antonia is working her socks off with three jobs she manages to fit around each other and allowing her a few hours sleep at night.



So we were going to be here for five days and had to keep out of site for four of them.



As Alan worked (Hah!) in Forest Row, where we lived, we both had to keep a low profile until Saturday night, also using the Navara was going to be difficult as he would also recognise that, not many Black Navaras with a hard top cover and Reich 15K hitch in the back, in the East Grinstead area. So I went for my haircut in a hoodie and basically stayed home, mowing the lawns etc. for the next few days



Saturday came and I had to do the shopping for the big family Sunday dinner, went to Morrison's and not to Sainsburys as Alan sometimes went there. Tricia had to do some really important (makeup etc,) shopping so she pops off to the relative safety of Tunbridge Wells and Fenwicks.



Gets a phone call from her about 1 hour later saying that she'd gone to the loo on the top floor of Fenwicks and guess who she just bumped into on the way out. “Oh no!” “Yes him, Alan, but it's all right he fell for the story, I was convincing enough I think.” He had gone into Tunbridge Wells with his brother in law to change one of his birthday presents.

So I had to stay in the back garden and pretend to be asleep if he called round.



Evening came and we were at “The Swan” pub a 7pm as requested by Pat, the present Mrs Swan. Sat outside hidden, at the back and guess who chooses to roll up just where we were with his brother in law driving! “You will go to Hell!” He shouts as he points a shaking malevolent finger at Tricia, then smiles all round.

Turns out he was pleased as punch at the whole thing, about 50 or so, family and friends were there.



We went early. 11:30 pm, as SWMBO had to get up early on Sunday to go and see her non heart attacked auntie Joyce in Dudley and get back in time for Sunday dinner at 8pm. She did and I cooked my famous five hour lamb in white wine, plus masses of veg and yorkshires, great. Of course I also did all the washing up.



Monday morning swung round and we were off again for the Newhaven to Dieppe ferry leaving at 10.30 am. Plan was to again keep off toll roads and head for Quick Palace in Poitiers getting there at 9'ish pm. No restaurant there but we had a big “English breakfast” on the ferry and some nibbles on the way down (4 x S&K pies which of course I never got to see as SWMBO had “taken care” of them on the way down).

From Poitiers down to Pamplona to a hotel just south of the city, short walk and a nice meal in the hotel then conked out, 500 miles a day was starting to tell. We came this way to check out the El Molino camp site near Mendigorria 20 miles SW of Pamplona, which is where we plan to meet and stay for three weeks until the 17th of June with the Leadbetters, it was very good with toilets you could eat out of and beautiful views.



Pamplona down to Madrid next.



Then on to a four star CEG hotel just south of Madrid followed by tapas in a local pub and some take out pizza. I took a picture of the room and it's interesting that SWMBO's “wash bag” is almost as big as her week end bag with 4 days of cloths in it. SWMBO had breakfast next morning, it was €6 and she was going to get every cents worth, the picture is of her returning from her 3rd visit to the breakfast buffet, note, she always has a good appetite when traveling, and some! I had coffee.

Next morning decided to use the local roads but managed to get lost and go 20 miles in the wrong direction because I had told the GPS to go to MS Valencia! Finally on right road and what views we had, fantastic!

Checked out another campsite we were going to use as a stop over on the way to El Molino via Madrid, it was crap! We will be going back to Pamplona our “usual” N23 route.

Arrived “home” in Roquetas at 6pm and it was raining! Not for long though and for the last few days it has been constant sun and 27°C, we even had to use the air con for the first time ever!

Great news when we got back, Gerald, Tricia's soon to be a 50 year old brother, has finally after about 2 years, got a job. It's what he used to do, an Electrician working on Army tanks and other vehicles, so Tricia is thrilled.

I'm finishing this off on Tuesday 27th April at 7:34 am and it's 20°C already!

Saturday 3rd April 2010, Roquetas and they've come and gone.

The Swans that is. Our ex partners in “getting lost in Europe, tours by motorbike”. Started 10 years ago when me and SWMBO had planned a motorbike trip to Koblenz in Germany and somehow Swanny “invited” himself along! Then it was at least once a year and we covered more or less, all of western Europe. Now, of course, me and SWMBO were doing it in more style and comfort, but a little more costly.

They arrived on Wednesday 31st and were due to leave on Saturday 3rd April. So we drove to pick them up from Almeria airport at 10:30 am, and nearly missed them because I slept in and got an earful from the present wife. We had planned various things to do in the 3 days they were here but of course we need not of bothered because they had their own ideas. It all worked out OK, well all perhaps, with the exception of “crab night”, but more of that later.

First thing back at the MS and Swanny is saying “Where's the coffee and cakes, then?”

And that basically, was what their stay, as far as male Swan was concerned, was going to be all about. We skivvied and he just lay around all the time, pictures as proof. Lunch was fried bacon sandwiches.

Walked into El Parador and guess what? Found our favourite cafe and had some coffee and cake, remember the cake eating machine of Benicassim? Well it was back!



Tricia had another go at the Moroccan lamb, this time with the right amount of cumin and it went down very well with some sherbets and beer.

Thursday, after drinking my just squeezed oranges, was a day of visiting the two local ports, which is a “must do” as far as Alan is concerned, unfortunately after getting to Aquadulce, for coffee and cake, his knees gave out and I had to run back to the car, drive back and pick them up. Evening consisted of a dose of my famed chili and salad, washed down with the usual. I had bought what I thought was a good bottle of wine, i.e. more than €5, a white Rioja, which was not approved by Pat and unfortunately I had to drink it all by myself, slept well but. Of course we had given up the major bedroom to our guests but the converted dining table and “rock-un-roll” bed were fine for us.

Thursday came and went, and then came the evening of the “Mother of all Ludo, games”.

“Kids game that, not playing, mate, I'll stick to drinking your beer”. Anyway I explained the rules and the four of us slowly began hating each other with a vengeance, especially Alan with SWMBO.

“Why do you keep taking my counters and not everyone else's?” “'Cos it's there. Mate”. Pat went on to win and the three of us were making small, barely female effigies, and looking for pins.

Friday dawned and since it was Good Friday we were going to stay meat free and Alan promised to take us to a fish restaurant we had seen earlier that day, his treat, and funnily enough his greatest regret so far this year.

Morning started with finishing off my orange juice and then lunch which was either very big prawns or dwarf lobsters in garlic butter and fresh bread, went down a treat. Alan actually managed a short bike ride and still managed to knacker his knackers while Pat had buried her head so deep in a “must finish” book that she needed a snorkel.

Also, a lot of lying around took place as the sun never stopped shining. Next is typical of Alan Swan's logical brain. He was telling a story that would cause some embarrassment to somebody he knew and mentioned that everybody at his work knew the situation. “Alan, how come everybody knew about this, did you tell them?” “No”. “Well how come they knew?” “Cos, I told them.”
More lying around, reading and sleeping.

Then, the big night! I had declared that I would drive and more importantly, would not drink either.

When everybody came too, and either, asked after my general well being, whether I was feeling myself (certainly not! I employ a wife, at some cost over the years to take care of that, may I add), or rushed off to the local asylum to take a count of the numbers.

So off I drove, we stopped for a quick drink and some tapas, as the fish restaurant was not open yet. At 8;34pm precisely the night of doom began.

Went back to the same fish place (pun), as I had mentioned to everybody that I had seen crab, or rather A crab on the display counter of this particular restaurant and I quite fancied some as I used to love it when I was a nipper (another!).

So we go in and sit inside, rather than outside on the pavement as Pat tends to fell the cold even in the tropics, although an added bonus was no cigarette smoke.

Alan opened his menu, looked at the prices and hoped they had crab because he had mentioned if they didn't, I should have a lobster instead, lobster was €100 each. Gulp! Or more importantly if Alan had his way, no gulps at all and why don't we just find a fish & chip take away.



Drinks, three beers and one glass of wine, food, four starters and four mains, nothing else, no coffees, no liqueurs, da nada. Bill €150. My crab, which was terrible, by the way, was by itself €40. God knows what it would have been if I had drank anything! At least another €50 and more for two taxis rides. Saved him a fortune really.

Next morning dropped them at 9:30 am for the flight back and we have got our double bed back.

Lots of washing and then 2 glorious days of no wind, just sun. It actually got so hot on Sunday that we had to put the awning out to cool down.

Today, Easter Monday, although it's not celebrated in Spain and therefore isn't a holiday, is grey and very windy, also most of the Spanish have gone along with some more German and Dutch so the whole site is looking very empty. The remainder of April however, is predicted to be the early summer beginning.